Toad Wants To Be A Millionaire
by Bloodberry
Summary: Look at the title. ^_^


# Toad Wants To Be A Millionaire

I don't own x-men. Marvel does. Lenny belongs to Katella High School till he gets good grades. Tsunami from Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer. The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show belongs to Regis. Regis belongs to himself. 

Regis: Hello everyone, welcome to: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 

(Audience cheers)

Regis: All right everyone. (Looks at the 17 contestants) 

# Regis: Put this list in alphabetical order. How they came out or will come out in the U.S. of .A. 

# A.Final Fantasy VIII

  1. Final Fantasy III 

  1. Final Fantasy VII

  1. Final Fantasy Mystic Quest 

  1. Final Fantasy

  1. Final Fantasy Anthology

  1. Final Fantasy IX

  1. Final Fantasy Legend

  1. Final Fantasy J. iv

  1. Final Fantasy J. iii

  1. Final Fantasy Tactics

  1. Final Fantasy 2001

  1. Final Fantasy II

Wolverine: The Hell?!

Jean: You expect us to alphabetize this?

Professor X: Are you mad boy?

Cyclops: I'm always so smart and perfect but, but…I don't know how to alphabetize this! Waaa! My perfection is ruined! (Runs off the stage crying like an idiot)

Wolverine: What a dick.

Bobby: Bye-bye boy scout!

(Somehow bobby manages to freeze Scott's underwear)

Cyclops: Ahh! THAT'S FUCKING COLD!

(Scott runs even faster)

Mystique: See what you've done Regis! You made him cry! (Runs off the stage after Scott and morphs into her Raven Darkholme form)

Raven Darkholme: Wait Scott, I don't care if you're not perfect! I still think you're hot! (Chases after Scott)

Jean: Don't touch my Scott BITCH!

Magneto: I always thought she liked me!

Sabretooth: Hey! I thought she liked me! GRRRR!

(Jean, Magneto and Sabretooth run off the stage after Scott and Mystique/Raven)

Storm: Is this some sort of movie list?

Regis: ten seconds!

Rogue: I know this is a video game list or something.

Blueberry: Duh! Who'd ever be stupid enough to name a movie Final Fantasy Tactics?

Toad: HEY!

Regis: You'll never figure it out! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bobby: This list is so easy! 

Bloodberry: Almost done!

Cherry Blossom: Oooooh! 

Lenny: 3 more!

Cherry: COME ON! (Slaps her head)

Tsunami: Where does 2001 go?

Toad: DONE! It's E, H, M, B, D, C, K, F, A, G, L, J, and I.

Bloodberry, Bobby, Cherry Blossom, Tsunami, Cherry and Lenny: Damn it!

Regis: (Stunned) We have a winner!

Toad: Yes! I won! 

Regis: Come on Toad! Join me in the circle. Join me in the millionaire's circle!

Bloodberry: Damn it! (Disappointed) I almost won.

Regis: What are you guys, freaks! How the hell did you all know how to alphabetize this, this, monstrous list of Final Fantasy Games?!

Lenny: Final Fantasy is the obsession of our everyday lives.

Tsunami: Who finished second?

Regis: You all came pretty close. 

  1. Toad
  2. Bloodberry
  3. Cherry Blossom
  4. Lenny 
  5. Bobby
  6. Cherry

And 

  1. Tsunami. 

Bloodberry: See! I told I almost won.

Regis: And everyone else is screwed. Bloodberry you get a consolation prize!

Bloodberry: Yay! 

Regis: You get tickets to the premiere of Final Fantasy the motion picture!

Bloodberry: AL RIGHT!

(Toad, Bloodberry, and Regis look at the audience and give them big advertising smiles) J

Regis: Final Fantasy is the Epic story set on Earth in the year 2065. Destruction and confusion surrounds the world. Cites are deserted, the population is decimated, and the precious few humans//

Toad: Who have magical powers!

Regis: (Gives Toad a sour look) Who remain, must find a way to survive.

Bloodberry: In this world, we face death as we part with our loved ones.We begin to question what "life" and "love" is… 

(Tsunami, Bloodberry, and Cherry wink at Toad. Toad heavily blushes. He looks like a clown ^-^) 

Bloodberry: …and what is the philosophical definition of the "Heart." 

(Tsunami, Bloodberry, and Cherry wink at Toad yet again. Toad's face becomes red. The audience starts to howl) 

Bloodberry: After all in this world, science has analyzed life and death, expressing life as a form of energy.

Regis: Final Fantasy will take you on a journey of personal discovery into both real and fantasy worlds, drawing you deep into its characterizations and themes: love, friendship, dreams, adventure, life, and death it's self.

Toad: So go to [www.finalfantasy.com][1] and take a look at the awesome trailer.

Bloodberry: (Flashes a smile) For a shortcut go to [http://www.apple.com/trailers/columbia/final_fantasy/trailermedium.html][2]

Bloodberry: We are total sellouts!

Toad: I'd never thought I'd do a commercial.

Regis: (Snappish) Shut-up!

Um, some guy: And now we go to a commercial break.

*************************************************************************************************************

## Commercial

^Everyone is having a party at the x-mansion^

3 guys are circling around a paper platter that contains one single piece of candy. 

(Cyclops looks at the shiny piece of candy. His mouth starts to water)

(Professor X pops up in Cyclops shoulder) 

Professor X: Scott Summers! Don't you even think about eating the last piece of candy, you greedy thing! 

(Bobby looks at the candy on the plate. He reaches for it)

(Shiva pops up in Bobby's shoulder)

(Note: I'm making Shiva Bobby's mother. It seems only proper)

Shiva: Bobby! Let someone else have the last piece, you weren't raised by wolves!

Bobby: No mom! I was raised in Balamb Garden where Squall made my life a living nightmare!

Shiva: Don't talk about your father that way!

(Wolverine is drooling. Sabretooth pops up in his shoulder)

Sabretooth: ROOOOAAAAARRRRRR!

Wolverine: Yes daddy.

(Note: I'm making Sabretooth Wolverine's dad)

(Wolverine starts to grab for the piece of candy when a 30 ft long tongue snatches it away)

Toad: Ha-ha. (He instantly swallows the piece of candy. Wrapper and all)

Sabretooth, Shiva, and Professor X: ANIMAL!

Mystique: Behold the power of a Hershey's Kisses.

(Toad sticks his head in a bucket of ice cream and begins to lick it. Everyone makes gagging sounds and drop their ice cream cones)

Bobby: Hey! I wanted ice cream!

Cyclops: You uncivilized creep!  
  


Wolverine: You are so fucking dead BUB!

(Cyclops, Bobby, and Wolverine proceed to kick the crap out of Toad)

Toad: OWW! Stop…no…let go of my tongue…AHHH!

(Toad spits slime on Scott's ruby visor)

Cyclops: Slime…to…strong! Can't…blast…it. (Whiningly) I can't see!

Wolverine: Shut-up dickhead!

Bobby: You're the dickhead!

Regis: I think you're all dickheads.

Wolverine: AHHHH!

(Toad, Cyclops, Bobby, Wolverine and Regis get into a hissy catfight)

Mystique: Uhh? Behold the power of ice cream!

*************************************************************************************************************

Regis: Back to our show!

(Audience cheers)

Regis: Toad, for 1000$ who is your master and leader of the brotherhood?

  1. Sorceress Edea
  2. Whiney the Pooh Bear
  3. Magneto
  4. Lenny

Toad: C. It's obviously Magneto! Lenny?! How stupid do you think I am?

Regis: Correct! For 20,000$ what is Xavier's true power?

  1. Seduction
  2. The Force
  3. Psychic
  4. Erotic stimulation

Toad: Well, Xavier turns my master on, but he did take control of my mind so…C. Psychic.

Regis: Are you sure? 

Toad: Yep! 

Regis Final answer?

Toad: (Crosses his arms) Nothing is gonna change my mind.

Regis: Correct! For 100,000$ what is Wolverine's real name?

  1. Harry Potter
  2. Logan Creed
  3. Luke Skywalker
  4. Squall Leonheart

Toad: Uhh? Harry?

Regis: You do have 3 lifelines.

Toad: Um, I wanna use the audience poll thingy.

Regis: Okay audience, let's help him out.

(Audience press the buttons on their weird keypad thingy)

Regis: Okay, take your pick Toad.

### Poll's results

  1. 30%
  2. 50%
  3. 5%
  4. 15%

Toad: B. But isn't that Sabretooth's last name?

(Audience Shrugs)

(Toad stares deeply into the audience's eyes and comes to realization)

Toad: Sabretooth you bloody dog! I had no idea you had a son. I gotta bug him after the show!

Regis: Correct! For 200,000$ who is Cyclops fiancée?

  1. Raven Darkholme 
  2. Jean Grey
  3. Professor X
  4. Misty

Toad: B. But after tonight he'll probably be engaged to Mystique/Raven. 

(Toad winks at Logan ^.~)

Wolverine: YESSSS! Jean will finally be my bitch!

Regis: Correct! 

Regis: For 300,000$ what is Mortimer Toynbee's mutant power?  
  


  1. Optic Blasts 
  2. Telekinesis
  3. Frog abilities
  4. Thunder shock

Toad: C. You dorkus! I'm Mortimer Toynbee! (Pissed off) What kind off a stupid question is that?!

Regis: Err? Are you sure?

Toad: YES!

Regis: Final answer? 

Toad: I think I'd know what my powers are you SOB!

Regis: Correct! For 400,000$ Which X-Men got kicked out of their house because of their mutant powers?

  1. Jean Grey
  2. Marie/Rogue
  3. Ororo Munroe/Storm
  4. Rinoa heartly 

Toad: Um, I choose B. 

Regis: Are you sure?

Toad: Uhh, yeah.

(Regis waves 400,000$ in front of Toad's face)

Regis: You could just walk away with the 400,000$ right now.

Toad: No…I'd like to keep going!

Regis: Final answer?

Toad: Yes…final answer. 

(Drum roll)

Regis: Correct!

Toad: If Marie hadn't been coming on to me than I probably would have taken the 400,000$.

(Bloodberry, Cherry, and Tsunami give Rogue a jealous look)

Rogue: What? It's just that he is so cute.

(Toad blushes so much that he has to cover his face)

Regis: Correct! For 500,000$ who the Leader and commander of the X-Men?

  1. Scott Summers
  2. Cinderella
  3. Bart Simpson 
  4. Xavier

Toad: A. 

Regis: Final answ///

Toad: You gave it away when you said commander. Xavier can't command anyone. I mean…he is in a bloody wheel chair for crying out loud. @_@

Professor X: Well I can't help it if I'm handy caped! Sniff. (Xavier wheels himself out of the stage crying like a moron)

Storm: Toad you idiot!  
  


(Lighting strikes Toad)

Toad: OWW! Bitch! 

Regis: Correct! For 800,000$ what is Storm's mutant power?

  1. Elemental Infrastructure Ascendancy
  2. Ocular Blights
  3. Cerebral Meteorological Domination
  4. Pyrotechnical Plasmatic Energetic Blasts

Toad: I think I'll use my 50/50.

Regis: Okay! 50/50 it is!

D and B disappear. 

  1. Elemental Infrastructure Ascendancy
  2. …
  3. Cerebral Meteorological Domination
  4. …

Toad: Uh? It's C.

Regis: Are you sure?

Toad: Yup!

Regis: Yay! You made it to the million dollar round! How'd you know? We all thought you were retarded!

Toad: (Angrily) I am not! Why the hell does everyone say that?!

Regis: Okay. (Inhales deeply) For 1,000,000$ who is the second in command leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants?

  1. Mystique
  2. Toad
  3. Sabretooth
  4. Tsunami

Toad: I…don't…know.

Regis: You do have one lifeline left. You could call somebody.

Toad: Okay. I'd like to call Raven Darkholme/Mystique.

(AT&T dials Raven's cell phone number)

Mystique: Hello?

Toad: Mystique, I need you to answer me this question please! It's for 1,000,000 Dollars.

Mystique: Um, okay. Go ahead shoot!

(Funny noises are heard on back round)

Toad: Who is second in command of our Brotherhood?

Mystique: What?! You mean you don't know?

Toad: (Nervous, almost in shock) NO I don't know! Please tell me.

Mystique: We went over that two nights ago in our weekly meeting. How the hell can you forget? Weren't you listening?! 

Toad: NO I WASEN'T LISTENING! JUST TELL ME THE BLOODY NAME!

(Funny noises of a grocery store are being heard on background)

Mystique: Stop it SABRETOOTH!

Toad: C!

Regis: I'm sorry C is not the answer.

(Audience moans)

Toad: MYSTIQUE YOU IDIOT!

Mystique: Toad you numbskull! You are second in command. YOU, YOU, YOU!

Toad: ME?!

Mystique: Yes you! Sabretooth is too stupid to be second in command. I hate responsibility, and Tsunami is a new member. Who else did you think would be second in command?! 

Toad: I, I…(Toad faints and goes into shock)

Regis: Well that's it for tonight. Tune in next Friday for: Who wants to be A millionaire: Final Fantasy style!

Toad: (Dizzily) Hibidy dibidy…I'd like…a spot…of tea…cheerios. 

Regis: Here's ten bucks pal. You need it more than I do.

Toad: (Dizzily) Yeah…mum…bloody pot headed crackers…wankers…

Regis: What do ya say audience? Does he deserve a consolation prize?

Audience: Yeah!

Regis: Here you go champ!

(Regis hands Toad a Sorceress Rinoa Doll)

Regis: Good night everyone!

*************************************************************************************************************

#### Poor Toad. So what ya think? Please Review.I'm not kidding about the movie thingy. There will be a final fantasy movie in 2001! I know, I'm a Final Fantasy freak!

   [1]: http://www.finalfantasy.com/
   [2]: http://www.apple.com/trailers/columbia/final_fantasy/trailermedium.html



End file.
